A Prayer in The Midst of Despair

There are times when I cannot think, or so it seems. And when that happens I find that writing helps manage my thoughts.  The following is a prayer I could not say, but I could write.  It was one that I wrote in the midst of preparing a sermon and was in a particularly difficult way.  By the way, this is not an uncommon situation for pastors as they prepare a sermon.  I think Satan presses hard on them as they begin to craft an exposition from God’s Word.  Do not ever think that your pastor is somehow exempt from these things.

 

Show me kindness my Father, for I am needy.

My heart is worn and tired, my soul

aches and groans.

I have nothing and am nothing,

yet you have chosen to set me on high.

Oh Father in heaven, open my eyes to this truth

for all I see right now is

my sin

and my weakness.

Your word says that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me,

but why is it that all I see is

 my weakness

and flesh?

 Father, shall this be my lot?

Shall discouragement and sorrow be my constant companion?

Shall hope be only a faint ember that burns soft and low in the heart?

I pray that it will not Father.

I pray that you shall lift my head up again and is shall find rest.

Oh that you would cause

your face shine upon me

and lift up my countenance!

To see the smile of God

and the joy of the Spirit

would bring such relief to this sore man.

Trials seem to be my constant companion and weariness is filling my bones.

Therefore where shall I turn?

And when shall I turn?

Oh Father of mercies and comfort,

comfort me in my time of affliction.

Oh Father of wisdom,

grant me wisdom to press on

without faltering

nor doubting.

Let not my foot slip

nor my step stumble.

Instead Holy Father, set my eyes upon my Lord and Savior

in whom

I stand

and live

and worship.

    Open wide my heart

that it would be filled by the Spirit of life

and that He might strengthen me in my inner man.

Oh Father I pray, I pray.

About Matt Henry

Middle-aged pastor trying to figure out how to be missional in his world. Loves his wife, his children, and his dog Bear. I have a love of woodworking even though woodworking doesn't always love me. The name is xagete but is pronounced exegete.

Posted on March 28, 2012, in Theology and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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