Thoughts for This Sunday
I have been recuperating for the last few days after a stay in the hospital. The specifics are not important, those who know, know and those who don’t know, don’t need to know. But today is Sunday, it is almost 9 am and I am preparing to dress and leave for my church.
Not “mine” in the sense that I own it or created it of course, but in the sense that it is the local manifestation of Christ’s body which I have oversight. No blood of mine redeemed her. Even if I were to shed the fulness of the blood within, it would change nothing. But it is still mine as an under shepherd knows that the sheep of his master are his to care and to protect.
So what is this bit of rambling about? Who knows. I have many emotions flowing around going to church. I am actually nervous, and I don’t get nervous. I have a desire to draw away and use the excuse of the hospital to not go. The basis for this thinking is nothing more than the sound of crickets. It is just emotion and not my affections.
Affections are deeper. They are borne out of conviction and covenant; where a person has made certain decisions and has also decided that he shall be firm in those decisions. Affections are beautiful and glorious because they remind us of Jesus, who for the joy set before him endured the cross. Who came never to do his will but the will of his Father. See, those are affections driving him forward and upward to the calling of his Father. Emotions exist, but they are then left behind in the garden among the sweat and agony.
My affections drive me to church. They drive me to go and smile to those I love and have given my heart to. They prompt me to hug a couple of the older ladies and to kiss them on their forehead. My calling is to follow my Lord. Not really a hard thing in many ways. I ask, “What am I to be doing?” The Word supplies my answer and then it is merely an issue of faithfulness and obedience.
I am called to bring and to preach the Word, but today it will be preached to me. So I will submit myself to it and the teacher. I am called to shepherd the flock, but I suspect that mostly I will just be shepherded by the sheep. And I will submit to it. I am call to be an example to follow and that I can still do. I can show all the love for the Body. I can show how to come with a heart to serve and and desire to bless. I can still pray with my brothers and sisters, and fully intend to. I can still sing my heart out to my Triune God and hear my friends around me sing as well. And that is what my affections, not my emotions, drive me to do.
So if you will excuse me, I have to figure out what clothes I am going to wear and do a bit of shaving. I am going to church in a bit.